22 Aug Limit your limiting beliefs
Millie Aldridge is another of the experts on #RealReach. Millie specialises in helping you get your head right. The mindset for success
Topic – #RealReach – Mindset
Mentor – Millie Aldridge
- Don’t be scared of it
- Coach yourself to feel positive
- The danger of the ‘never enough’ mentality
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Kevin Turner: Well, this week we’re featuring our experts from #RealReach, a great platform for any principal who wants to move to the next level or anyone who’s looking at opening their own business. #RealReach, go and check it out for yourselves. One of the experts we will talk to and we’ll certainly introduce to you today, Millie Aldridge, has her own website, MillieAldridge.com.
Kevin Turner: Good day, Millie. How are you doing?
Millie Aldridge: I’m well, thank you Kevin. How are you?
Kevin Turner: Great. One of the things that I’ve found, Millie, is that self talk is just so important in terms of your success. It can either set you up for success or set you up for failure.
Millie Aldridge: Yeah, absolutely, and the thing that I’ve noticed is that not a lot of people understand that they have control over their self talk. You know, I talk about we have this negative mind and a positive mind, so there’s lots of different words you can use, but for a lot of us that negative mind, like you said, it can really hold us back. You know, it tells us we’re not good enough, that we should be doing this, and if we don’t have the tools to learn to turn the volume down on that negative mind, then it does really hold us back in all areas of our life, and particular in business.
Kevin Turner: Yeah. Sometimes, we’ve gotta be … We’re our own worst enemy. And I think I’ve seen a blog where you talked about this. About your mind, where you are mentally and how you feel physically as to whether you can be positive or negative. Why do we go to the negative so much?
Millie Aldridge: It’s back from the caveman days. So back in the day when we were hunters and gatherers, we had to have that fearful mind. So it’s nothing to be scared of. It’s just to understand that we need that 10% of it. Because yeah, if we’re gonna go out hunting we could potentially get eaten by a bear. Whereas now, we go out on stage and we host a talk or we go to a new client, and that fearful mind comes in because we’re stepping out of our comfort zone, but we’re not gonna get eaten by a bear. So we need to understand that we do have control how to turn it down. That it comes from generations of just automatically going to that. To the negative mind.
Kevin Turner: So I guess, is this training? Do we have to train ourselves to think positively?
Millie Aldridge: Absolutely. And some people might say that they don’t think negatively, yet what I say is that you’re not aware of it. So for a lot of us, we’re not even aware of our own thought. And we need to acknowledge. So some homework would be to start to be aware of your thoughts. Do you … What is your default response. Do you go to negative or do you go to positive? And it absolutely is all about training. It’s about rewiring your brain for sure.
Kevin Turner: Yeah, sometimes I think too we undervalue how good we are, really. We always take that negative view that other people are better than us or I don’t deserve the success. All of these things are quite debilitating.
Millie Aldridge: And again, it comes from our fundamental up-rating context. Our limiting belief. For a lot of us, we have that belief that I’m not good enough. And it can take years of doing some self-practice or doing some work. Whether it be with coaches, mentors, to change that belief from I’m not good enough, to I am okay, I am valuable. And if we don’t go back and change some of our thoughts, some of our beliefs, some of our behaviors, then we just continue to… We might get the external success, but it’s never enough. We then strive for more money or more success. And we realized that it’s never enough because it’s not coming from within. You need to start within.
Kevin Turner: Yeah, sometimes a lot of this is deep-seeded conditioning too from a young age. And I guess we’ve got to understand as parents too and grandparents, some of the things that we decided for our kids is gonna stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Millie Aldridge: Yeah, yeah. My sister has four kids and I often say to her it’s about us being aware of the way that we talk to them because that’s what will become, their inner voice. Yet, it’s not … For parents, it’s not more pressure because we all know that parents have enough pressure these days. But it’s just being aware of that. I work with teenage girls through a mentoring program so I train them as young as teenagers. Okay, well if your default is negative, well, how can we change that and shift it to being more positive? Or how can you start to set your life up by looking at yourself internally?
Kevin Turner: Yeah, great. Lesson here too for team leaders and owners of businesses in terms of how they encourage and nurture people in their own business. Even though they might be grown up and adult, they still, in a sense, are very young people when they’re going through this learning process. So you can encourage them to learn faster and better, Millie.
Millie Aldridge: Yeah. And it’s great if you can do it in a team because then we feed off each other. And doing it on your own is quite hard because then you don’t have other people to talk to about what you’ve learned or to practice the tools. So absolutely and it all starts, I believe, from the top. It’s business owners, and then it’s the support team, and then it’s leaning on to … It comes all the way down to the clients. Whatever’s going on as a whole, it does filter out and has that ripple effect.
Kevin Turner: There you go. That’s why she’s one of our experts on #RealReach. That is Millie Aldridge. And there’s a link to Millie’s website on today’s player page as well. Millie, thank you so much for your time. Look forward to seeing and hearing a lot more about you inside #RealReach as well.
Millie Aldridge: Great. Thank you, Kevin. I can’t wait to teach everyone some more of those valuable tools that will set you up for success.